I have a new one, I propmised myself to be honest with myself and the this journal will be nothing but Truth, hard and cruel and clear. It's difficult sometimes, it forces one to deal with issues that we'd like to ignore. I'm trying to keep this one for ME, trying to get it into my own head and heart that this book is for ME, not for my friends or family, not for Him, not for any lover or stranger, but simply Me.

The journal is soft leather bound, about two inches thick. Sometiumes writing the truth itself is hard, it makes you admit things you don't want to, though by keeping this journal, I've found that it can be a necessity. That said, this journal, although true to my heart and feelings, is dangerous. It could easily start drama that could possibly end friendships, I'm well aware of the risk I take by writing in it, so I take care to keep it safe. Though again, it's for Me, no one else. It's a therapuetic release for me, and that is all that matters. I rarely do things for Me, being as I am and loving to do things for others, but this is Mine.

Why take the risk of having a leather bound journal when I can have an online one? Well... I've tried online journals. I tried them after my mother found the one I had when I was twelve. I went through three online journals. Each one ended up being fake half the time. This has gotten better only because I've stopped giving Out my online journal link. When you have an online journal, you want to decorate it then show off what you got on it, you want ppl to comment on the things you write to get other opinions or have supprt for what you've written. This is all well and good but (for me at least) I started thinking that entries that I wanted to write would sound too ranty, or whiney, or immature - you end up editing things to make yourself sound different.

In a journal/diary, you should never have to Censor how you feel, because when you do, you hide the truth and you sometimes, hide it from yourself.

Even if I find a Master for me, this journal is Mine. I will fear no punishment from the contents within it, for the book is a collection of thoughts, memories, and emotions, all of which are true to me and I wont be punished for how I feel. I have a hard time sorting out my emotions, I have an even harder time speaking about them or confronting others about how I feel about things and this journal was made by me to rectify that. Writing in it helps me discover things about myself and underlying issues with people and things. When my emotions are in chaos, writing sorts it out.

I don't want to be afraid to write in my own journal, it is my one possession that is essentially a part of me.