MastersGem
This whole thread is full of 'stuff'. I do know the problem of writing a huge number of lies into a journal because we want to be something that we are not.
I would also note that in meditation a person is best served by neither attaching ourselves to thoughts or feelings, and also not to feel revulsion towards a feeling or thought. The idea being not to get too attached, nor to let a feeling dominate you because you are always pushing it away. Seacceptance is key to mental health. You can set a security password for most any documents that you don't want any one to read. Many men also have problems with self-acceptance. Most especially I had problems with finding sadism so erotic. It was helpful for me to remember that domination was not the same as bullying.....which also caused me to take domination far more seriously and inject a great deal of love and compassion into dominating anything.
I am not sure this has helped, but it is an interesting thread
Kevin100