All fabulous suggestions. I like the slow and steady idea. The bathwater, the consideration, the foot rubs... wait was that mentioned, or my imagination? lol

It does seem sometimes that frank directness can be a detriment to what we desire. My husband has absolutely no interest in "bdsm" or "people like that"... even though he is married to one, and he likes usage of toys... it turns him on when I take the lead and dominate a sexual encounter, but doesn't connect the action with the term. Does this make sense?

Is your need to be dominated or to serve? I think they are very different things.