Wow, so I'm not the only one! I was always playing with myself - tying myself up, gagging myself, finding things to push into myself... I worried about being caught, but the lure of it was too much to deny. I'd fantasize about getting "in trouble" and an authority figure spanking me or making me sit in a corner, etc, but I was also frustrated because I wanted someone there to actually make me do these things, not just fantasize about them. And I wasn't even in middle school when this stuff started!