Polyamorous or just not sure?

[gemmy]

A good thread and one that's bound to piss off many with individual thoughts, feelings and opinions - good on you Luv! Nothing like a great debate *giggles*

I've expressed my opinion on this topic and on this board more than a few times and absolutely do not believe in it (Poly).

I don't think it's realistic to even try to 'love' more than one person at a time and think you are doing them any justice by sharing yourself with more than one - how could that possibly be honest or fair to the many who have to split that up? And what happens when one is 'loved' more times in a week than the other?

Oh yes, we (humans) are such a selfless race that those sharing in the love of One just go along in a Pollyanna view "Oh, it's ok if susie has had Master three times this week and i've only had him once. It makes Master happy and that's all that matters." (gags wretchedly).

And then there's the argument - but we all are in love with each other so it works. I've watched people on this board post that very argument and always in a Past Tense. So really? does it work? I imagine it might in the beginning, such a great novelty - 0o0o0o so exciting and thrilling - perfection! Combined households, incomes, chores - makes all of life easier, yes? Sure, in the beginning but funny how you never read about how any of these 'families' last.

People, by nature, sub or not want their own unique happiness and don't want to have to share that with anyone I think. I also think that people deserve that kind of solely devoted love that is theirs and theirs only.

IMO, and only my opinion (I don't dislike people who are Poly), I see it as just being greedy and way to not have to commit to any one person, continually hedging their bets for the next latest and greatest 'piece' to come along.

Cool if you are Poly and see that it works for you, it's just entirely not for me. I want that One special connection that's just for me and me alone

So who knows, maybe that makes me the greedy one

[sidhewolf]

MastersGem I Agree with some of what you write here. It's Very True we are All People First. With feelings, thoughts, and Needs, no matter what Role we have or place we take in this Community. And I Loved your <gag and bleck> about unrealistic certain conditions that do currently exsist in many BDSM/Poly Style Relationship's <G>. True that a persons Dominant is at the forefront of a Submissive or Slaves mind and Heart, but that doesn't remove who a person IS.

Dominants everywhere are Learning more and more every day about this, and how to build Happy successfull Poly Households. There are success stories out there, and successfull BDSM/Poly Intentional Families I know. The ones who have been successfull for a loooong time already Learned and Grew through what most of the BDSM Communities Dominants are just beginning to *get* over the last several years. Which is in part, that this Style of Loving is Consensual. If Your Submissives or Slaves are unhappy and unfullfilled in their purpose of their Relationship with You, You will not be happy either. The Consent can become withdrawn. The happy Poly Home You plan will not happen, because You did not consider and support in action the ones in Your charge.

BDSM is a Power Exchange. One cannot Give Power they don't have. Just something to think about I think, and consider well.....

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[jeanne]

The number is not the point, the point is that we simply need to realize how much we all can comfortably bite off and chew.

That makes sense. Each of us is different - what works well for one person may be completely unacceptable or unmanageable for another, for an infinite variety of reasons.