In my early days of being a submissive I found myself with a Master who had a stable of subs. This was a strictly online relationship between U/us, but even though I wasn't with Him IRL it still bothered me that He was with all these other subs. W/we were together on Yahoo chat and often when I would come online I would do a "goto" when I saw His name on messenger. He would often be in a private room, but I could still get in, unless it was an invite only room. Of course, when I did the "goto" I had no idea if He was in a public or private room and I often entered a private room where He was with one of His other subs. It felt like walking into your bedroom and finding your husband in bed with another woman. I did not like this feeling at all.

I had initially gone along with the whole poly thing because I thought I could handle it. I had left an abusive marriage where I had spent the vast majority of the ten years of my marriage alone and lonely, so I wanted to be open to new experiences and kick up my heels a bit. And this was safer than bar hopping and picking up strangers. Going into the BDSM chat rooms was a thrill for me at the time. And so at first being with a Master who had a stable was a little bit of a thrill. But it quickly wore off. This was not how I wanted to be and I knew that when I found a Master IRL I was definitely not going to be in a poly relationship. I wanted my One and Only and I knew that I wasn't going to get it from this person.

I will freely admit that I can be possessive and jealous and want my Master to focus solely on me. And I am not ashamed to say that. I am not selfless and think only of what He wants and needs. If He wants and needs a stable, well, He won't have me as one of the fillies. If He cannot be satisified with me as His only sub, then He is not the Master for me. Others can be poly and I won't come down on them. That is what they want. But it isn't what I want. I want my One and Only.