How to find a master?

[TomOfSweden]

While I agree even bad relationships are "educational", I'm not convinced your "... pick any guy ..." advice is great, Tom. I mean, we're not talking about picking a chocolate out of a box here, we're talking about people.

I didn't say any guy. I said "any guy you fancy". Basically picking a guy that could potentially turn out for something good if you gave him a chance. The motivation is to see that if you are looking for defects just because you're afraid of getting that which you most of all want.

Well, I'm an agnostic, yet I can still clearly see the benefits of having a limited number of sexual partners.

This'll be interesting.

I believe this "evil dogma" does, in fact, have a positive out come and will continue to have until we find a 100% safe and reliable form of contraception and cure for aids and all the other stds.

These are all bullshit fears. It's way out of proportion. This is justification of cowardice speaking. It's understandable since getting your ass out on the meat market is cruel at best. But that's just life.

Think of the pay off. Every risk and investment has to be weighed against what you get back. If finding a life partner is important for you in life these are all worthwhile risks to take. If you don't care about love in your life... (which is nobody...) then I guess it isn't. Risk nothing = gain nothing.

A little bit of intelligence can reduce these risks to negligible.

edit: I'm also convinced that's why this feature is in Christianity. If being a coward, (in this way) is held up as a virtue its easy to see how it can more easily be embraced. I'm not saying Jesus said it and was a coward and religious respect reclaimer yada yada yada. But rejection is scary. Formalising the courting and imposing strict rules minimises the risk of rejection once it gets serious.
*end edit*

Not to mention the attitudes of more than half of Frenchmen, who when recently questioned, claimed that while they believed in sex before marriage, they still wanted to marry virgins." Or, here in Australia, where of 57,000 men polled by men's magazine FHM, 28 per cent hoped to marry a virgin, while 41 per cent wanted a bride who had five partners or fewer, and just 5 per cent wanted a bride who had slept with more than 15 men. While you're obviously a very modern and broadminded man, Tom, today's women still need to be a little prudent.

Hardly a problem, is it? Your two options are either to avoid men like it, because you know they'll have an unrealistic view of women and sex. Or lie about it. He's an idiot and a childish buffoon so you know you can fool him to believe anything as long as you do the right steps.

edit: FHM.... Now I get it. I've seen it. It's a girly magazine that targets men who are about as emotionally mature as a piece of furniture... ...sorry... you were saying?

edit2: hmm....boys are not capable of any kind of long term commitment. It's kind of what being a boy is all about. It's a phase for fooling about in. Why would you care about what kind of women these men are attracted to for marriage? It's not like its likely to last is it?

Was it cruel? Well, that depends, Tom, on exactly how honest she was with him, doesn't it? I mean if she said, straight up front, "Hey, I'm really curious about your huge muscles and physical limits in bed, so let's fuck so I can find out, but please don't go expecting anything else from me..." then that's fair enough. On the other hand if she lead him to believe she was genuinely interested in him with the possibly of having a long term relationship then it wouldn't be so good.

Nobody ever listens to what the other person says about these things. If you are looking for a long term relationship, that's the cues you'll listen for. If not, then you will be deaf to them. You know and I know that we never know what we're likely to feel about somebody in five years time. "Forever" in love speak, only means a few years. If you promise somebody you'll love them more than that... then you're lying. It's a question of maturity and knowing when its romantic bullshit. Nothing wrong with romance. I tell my slave I'll love her forever all the time. And that's certainly how it feels in my heart at the moment.