Another problem I have noticed with online resources (like this and many others) is that while they increase the overall numbers of people available they don't necessarily increase the numbers in your local area. As far as I am aware, I am the only person on this site who lives in the West Midlands, never mind Birmingham. I have seen many on here from London and other parts of the country but not seen any who claim to be from Birmingham (maybe its the stigma, no one wants to be associated with Birmingham? ) However, despite this, I happen to know that Birmingham does have a very healthy scene and have met some of the people on it independent of this site. They are out there, they just don't necessarily post about themselves on the internet and those who do do so on other sites than this one.

Online sites like this are great for learning, for discussion and for finding out that your wierd little sexual foibles are really quite common in the world but they really can't guarantee that you will immediately find friends/play partners/lovers/subs/doms who live close enough to you to be worthwhile making a go of it. And that is without considering if they are even compatible with you. The probabilities rise if you are prepared to travel to meet people but there are expenses and inherent dangers in that approach.

And I think it is worse in some parts of America, certainly from what I have seen. IN my experience there are few places in the world (at least the industrialised world) which do not have some form of BDSM scene. IN places like San Francisco and London, big urban areas with a cosmopolitan and liberal attitude, the scene will be blatantly obvious and large enough to easily find someone. In smaller, less populated, often more conservative areas anyone in the scene is likely to be hidden and the scene may not be large enough to make a big enough splash. Its in these latter areas that people would have problems with finding someone.

All I can say is follow the advice above and be patient. Also, posting to more than one site cannot hurt as this will widen your area of coverage as not everyone posts on one site (much as the mods of those sites may wish they did). This site is massive but I do not think it covers the entirity of the lifestyle population by any stretch.