Quote Originally Posted by Warbaby1943
I have to agree with submissivewife (except at 14 it probably wouldn't be considered consensual) it still has the appearance of rape. Rape by any other name is still rape.
In the technical, legal and socialy acceptable sense of the reality of it coupled with hindsight and with experience of age & its' given wisdom yes NOW I can see it for what it was and yes, rape is rape - I'm not giving an ok to any form of rape - it simply isn't what my understanding was back then. Of course I understand it now and can see it for the crime it was & therefore now I can say for a fact yes I was raped ok so so --- if it had happened today I'd see it differently and I'd not feel one bit of responsibility about it and I'd call the police and prosecute the scum for doing that to me - yes - that's what I would do NOW,... it didn't happen now it happened when I didn't have the fcilities to reason it out and rationalize it thru that way...
My thoughts and how it all got instilled into my thought process and how I made it seem ok and how I coped thru it all became my reality which then became my acceptance to what right and wrong and sex was supose to be. The guys took and I had to let em do what they wanted and that was how it worked.
I feel into that mindset and got comfy in it and all subsequent partners carried on in that fashion and when it is normal to you you don't know to think otherwise. There is no comparison to know diferently.
Before anyone gets up in arms - let me clarify by saying tha I now understand the difference between knowing what is what and participating as a willing participant as opposed to not having any idea I even had a say in the matter let alone having a right to have my own say.
The awakining was a HUGE turning point and one that has made me appreciate myself and give me such delight in my own choice to surrender per say. In essence I now know what the heck it is that being a submissive is all about. It's not a batle of demands taken at will from another person who doesn't have a choice or say in the matter. NO that's abuse and the so called sub is being abused and the so called dom is a habitual abuser...
For me now, my reality of what domination and submission is is an intriquate involvment of parties who have utmost respect and can give impliciate trust in one another and that is the truly defined meaning which now i can say defines the actual beauty and thrill and excitement and exctacy and pleasures and intensity and bottom line guts and substance to my choice to be a submissive partner.
I feel very strongly that it is what has happened to us over course of time that gives us the substance to be the person we are now today. And to quote some oe I don't know who said it but "The lessons in life are given only to those who choose to learn by lifes lessons". or something like that - anyway ...
that's that ok? ok then moving on and off to browse around