Back when I was in the service I think it all came to a head so
to speak.

There was a Lieutenant JG that was getting divorced and
dropping subtle hints about what she liked sexually.

She had a Christmas party at her house and as it turned
out the only people invited were myself and one other
couple much to my surprise and that's being straight up.

As the evening drew on we ended up in her bedroom
while the other couple was occupied elsewhere.

For some odd reason I was somewhat angry about
being deceived as to the invitation to a party that was
in reality NOT that at all.

Knowing a little of what she enjoyed from previous
conversations I ended up tying her hands behind her back
and her legs apart.

I used some of her nylon stockings to do the tying as she
was a stocking and garter belt type of lady rather than
opting for pantyhose.

She was wearing a pair of French cut style panties that I'd
left on her and stuffed a tennis ball down the front of them
to jam it tight against her clit. Found those in the closet with
her tennis gear and thought they looked interesting.

I took another nylon and cinched the panties up real tight
by pulling them up her ass crack and tying off the excess
material. Everytime she struggled that ball would roll over
her clit and make her squirm even more. I found over time
that those little rubber super balls are much better to use
for this.

I start talking dirty to her, calling her filthy names and telling
her what I was going to do to her. I found a pair of her
worn panties laying on top of the hamper and used those to
stuff in her mouth as a gag and another nylon to hold them in
place. Yes, I did spend a little time getting her scent off them,
no need to say I didn't and pretend I'm not just that way.

Once she was all snug and secure I took off my clothes
and began to masturbate in front of her. Just seeing her like
that triggered something in me that never left me. Whether
that's good or bad I imagine remains to be seen but it's a
part of me now so I just accept that.

As I masturbated I kept yelling at her, telling her to watch.
Everytime she turned her head I grabbed her jaw
and smacked her in the face with my cock. As I continued
to do that I used my free hand to start pulling her nipples,
twisting on them. I know she came off from that because
she moaned like hell and those eyes rolled up showing the
whites just like shark does when it's feeding on prey.

I kept telling her how much she liked what was happening,
how dirty she was for enjoying it and saying those things
made it all the more exciting for me. It wasn't all that
long after that I had to cum too and I did.

Right in her face, I got up close and let it fly and shot
my load over her mouth and everywhere I could spray it.
In some way I think I was marking her as mine when I
got to thinking about it later on.

I saw she was sobbing when I became more conscious of
what had happened and I was scared shitless. I thought
this was it, I'd really fucked up BIG time now. I started
untying her and apologizing like hell for what I'd done
and as soon as she got free she grabbed me and kissed
me like mad. That was the first time I'd ever tasted
my own cum and I was aroused beyond measure
because it came from sharing with a woman I'd been with.

I know I've gone on way too long with this but it's somethng
that I've never forgotten and I believe this was a turning
point for me.

Anyway we ended up having sex most of that night and
continued a relationship for a long time after till she
was transferred to England. During the time we spent
together we'd experimented in many different ways
with BDSM. We pushed our own limits and enjoyed things
(that at the time) we probably weren't aware there were
terms or names to describe what we did.

Over the years I'd wondered if there was something wrong
with me, if I was a bad person because of what I enjoyed.
After a long while I just came to accept things as they
were and found I wasn't alone in my thoughts about things
like this.

I realized that I am who I am and I wouldn't change a
single thing even if it were possible to do so.
I accept others as they are, no bullshit between us, just
being ourselves and getting to know them through all
the aspects if they are willing to share that way with me.

Pretty much in a nutshell that's just how I roll with things.