Horatio,
It seems you took my suggestions to heart save one.
You're getting into the writing groove and seem to understand most of the rules and regulations.
Story telling is about more than writing though, it predates the written word.
An important lesson you will hopefully learn is how to winnow away what doesn't contribute to the tale. That however is a lesson for another level. For now I feel you are ready, Don't be afraid, Mr Dean is really a puffy marshmallow who wouldn't hurt a flea.
Aspiring writers on the other hand, well two have made it past him, who knows you could be the third. Have faith, write hard and fast, and I'll send in the paperwork to move you up a notch.

Good Luck,
Mad Lews