a few good places to look for bdsm relationships are: local bdsm group munches and meet and greets ( can often find bdsm groups via yahoo groups per your city or a city close to you), through sites like Collerme.com disgression is needed, do not always take people at their typed word, go slow and when it comes down to actual meeting be smart and do it in a public place with a few safe calls for back up.another interesting place is craigslist ( again per your city and state) but the same safety issues apply....hope this helps a bit Ms. Wyked