BDSM dating sites can work, but you have to have a lot of patience. I met my Master/fiance/father of my child on collarme. We met in person three days after starting to chat online (it just clicked really well, and we didn't mess around).

That being said, I received literally hundreds of replies from everyone from wannabe Doms to the barely literate. So be prepared to kiss a lot of frogs.

If you don't have an active local scene, online may really be the only way to go, unless you want to try your chances at just happening to run into a Dom someplace. Just keep your wits about you, and stay safe. There are all sorts of threads on here about safety precautions when meeting in person.