Looking back on the decisions that led to my current predicament, I can't help but wonder if I should have seen this coming, but how could I? Every step seemed to flow into the next. I had no time to step back and see the downward spiral I was trapped in.

My name is Lord David Tillman. My wife Jennifer and I are the owners of a substantial country estate just outside of London. It is my pride and joy: the beautifully terraced gardens, the private lake teaming with fish, the stables holding my wife's prized stallions Thunder and Lightning. The house itself a prized example of late 19th century architecture.

Unfortunately, the upkeep of such a residence is beyond my means, my substantial inheritance has been all but spent. My first wife Sarah took a considerable chunk as part of her divorce settlement, the result of discovering she had certain undesirables in her family tree. Her grandfather was a grease monkey for gods sake! The remainder I've frittered away, keeping myself and Jennifer in the style to which we are both accustomed. The membership to the club, the summer and winter holidays have all put an excessive drain on our finances. I haven't been idle these past few years. I've tried numerous business ventures all of which have failed. In one case I was even defrauded of a rather large sum by a unscrupulous business partner. All of this has brought me and Jennifer to near financial ruin.

Jennifer had the idea to renovate the house, let part of it out as a hotel and use the proceeds to pay the upkeep of the rest of the mansion. It breaks my heart to think of the public traipsing in and out of our lovely home\ like it was nothing more than a Holiday Inn but I can see no other way. At least this way the house and grounds will remain in my family. We set about the project with a will, Jennifer has been marvellous in dealing with the contractors and other employees\. She seems a whirl of energy, always zipping around the grounds checking the builders' and gardeners' work. She has been meeting designers and putting to bed the final details of the new Hotel Tillman.

I myself have undertaken the role of financial director so I have been tied to my rather small study balancing figures on spreadsheets. I don't mind working alone as I've always been shy and retiring around people, much preferring my own company. I did miss Jennifer, but someone had to be the public face of the endeavour. In fact, I have spent so much time \in this small windowless box, that I've started to take on a decidedly pale complexion. My usually slim figure has become even more gaunt due to \poor diet and stress.

It was midday on Wednesday when I realised disaster had struck us, no matter how I worked the figures we didn't have enough money to finish the project. We were \￡1,000,000 over budget! I had suspected that the builders had been dawdling but Jennifer swore that they've been hard at it whenever she checked in on them. Never the less, we must find alternative finance or we are sunk. My calls to banks and other financial institutions were met with polite but firm refusals, my previous record of failed ventures well known in such circles. So, despondent at my failure, I decided I must break the news to Jennifer. Knowing that waiting wasn't going to make the news any less heartbreaking, I headed out to the club where she was meeting one of the interior designers. The pain of the summer sun in my eyes was a reminder of just how long it was since I'd had time to venture outside. I climbed into my beautiful, brand new Jaguar. I know I probably shouldn't have bought it but appearances must be maintained! Fumbling behind the visor for my sunglasses I headed off. Perhaps it was the feeling of the sun on my skin\ or just the freedom of driving but I began to feel better. I didn't feel positive about things but I did feel less despondent. Maybe Jennifer would be able to come up with a solution to our financial worries.

So, it was with a slightly lighter heart that I arrived at the club. Assuming that Jennifer would be by the pool bar as she usually was, I headed straight there saying hello to the few people I recognised on the way, the club had always been more of Jennifer's place than mine. I was not nearly as athletic as she was so the gym, tennis courts and swimming pools held no real appeal for me. She usually came alone during the day to exercise, where I limited myself to occasional evening mixers with others of my class.

As expected Jennifer was by the pool talking animatedly to a young man, presumably the designer she had mentioned that morning. As always, the sight of her brought a smile to my face. Jennifer is a strikingly beautiful brunet with a dark tanned olive complexion. She almost looks Italian in origin although her blue eyes give lie to that idea. Though she is 10 years my junior at 25, she is my soul mate. We share everything with each other. My only regret is that our psychical relationship has stagnated in recent years. My waning libido is mainly to blame for that, a consequence of stress and getting older, I suppose. Jennifer has never complained about this,\ devoting her energy to sporting activities at the club and more recently with the refurbishment project.