so far all i have heard here is three very good takes on this, with three rather unique and excellent ideas of how to deal with the issue

it sounds like Kansas Badman has your husbands behavior pegged ,in my experience
i have seen lots of guys that enjoy the "chase" way more than the callenge involved in actually maintaining a relationship in a bdsm way, lots of guys love to say they are dominant even if they only think they are, tenacity and inovation, the will to continue maintaining what my owner likes to call "dominion" over his property (me), is also very important

yet as mentioned by Shwenn 'comunication" is key, he may be having second thoughts, or expecting you to preform certian ways but isnt talking, the comunication goes both ways, i need feedback all the time as to my preformance in pleasing my owner just like he needs to know if what he does in his dominance over me truely allows his property to thrive in her submission, (and for me to thrive i must allso be satisfied)

as a kajira my natural knee jerk reaction/ direction would be just what allmostsubmissive has said, as much as i also agree with the others i tend to personally have a reaction to a lack of real dominance from any man in my life by fufilling that role myself in spades or finding someone who will

a variation of all three approaches may be your best bet sis

the door to pandoras box of submission, the great joy and wonder of true utter sexual fufillment and mutual service to ones owner and or he his sub is paramont like oxygen to a fire, once ventured, once opened, especially in a womans heart, it is not so easily quenched nor closed