I get simular feelings but not with pain so much as humiliation or degrading acts, though its more self focused, like omg i am such a slut i cant believe i am enjoying this whats wrong with me etc, honestly i look at it as the part of my mind that was groomed by society to think these things are wrong is rebelling angainst the other part of my my mind that knows its right for me to enjoy it

its like my old self my prim and proper vanilla side is trying to get revenge on my new chocolate self, the one thats centered in my true nature of submission,

sometimes its hard to ride the wave and other times its easy, sometimes it throws me into a sort of sub space and other times it propels me to thrive in my submission