Topping from the bottom is considered inappropriate behavior in most BDSM, D/s circles. It is accurately defined as a submissive attempting to manipulate the dominant into doing what the submissive wants in a scene or situation or a situation in which the submissive becomes whiny, pushy or annoying about their desires, thereby inverting the normative power dynamic so that the dominant feels put upon instead of feeling respected and appreciated. Actual topping from the bottom is most assuredly a control issue and a serious breach of the transfer of power dynamic and accepted etiquette.

As a dominant I find attempts by submissives to engage in this practice unsavory and irritating and feel compelled to immediately squash it. When a dominant is no longer in control of the situation, their role is diminished. They become nothing more than a participant in the situation or scene. They lose credibility because as the dominant they should always be in complete control. They should project at all times a commanding presence so that the submissive never entertains any notion of attempting to flip or top them.

Certainly every submissive has the right to open, respectful and straightforward negotiation and the right to communicate her/his personal perceived needs to the dominant with the understanding of course that the dominant will make the final decision about whether to provide scenes and circumstances to address the needs shared. Negotiation is not topping from the bottom at all but simply the standard process for fostering the level of meaningful communication required in any kind of relationship, D/s or otherwise. I think in keeping with the basic tenants and ethics of the D/s the submissive has every right to negotiate and to have the expectation of being taken seriously if she/he realizes that the relationship as it stands is not working out or meeting deeply felt submissive needs.

Hope this explanation helps you to better understand what bottom topping is.

In2kink