The I: These concerns are normal for a beginner Dom, and I find it very brave and quite cute that you actually post the question here.

I heard from experienced Doms they had the same feelings in the beginning. It is also very confusing for men to hear all their lives "never hit a woman, show respect", etc. blah, and then being confronted with a greedy sub :-)))

Some of the other replies are very good reading.

For me, the fact that you ask yourself these questions shows you are a strong and confident person, and not a mysogynist.

If I might add something about my own hubby: While he loves to give pain and humiliation, and both are huge turn-ons for him, the VERY BASIC DIFFERENCE between him and an abusive asshole is: He aims to make the woman happy.
The abusive asshole would NOT want to make the woman happy, he would rather only give her treatments she hates, or deprive her of treatments she craves, or even love and kindness, not to mention respect.

As long as you feel comfortable with your needs, and have partners you can share them with, do not worry, you are perfectly ok and healthy :-)
These worries will go away with time.

I also agree with denu very much. I do not think people were created to exist in such a boring, tame, overpolite, overly politically correct environment as we have it now. Many natural urges are suppressed.

Kind regards
Arria