Your description of yourself could very easily be me describing myself, and I too flourish as a submissive. When that side of my life is not there, I also feel a little lost without it. For me, there is very little confusion between my very Dom personna as I'm out in the world and my desire to be with a man I can sub to - it comes down to the fact that I respect strength, confidence and the qualities I see as Dom and I emmulate them in my day to day; and if and only when I meet a man that has those qualities and can hold up to the "struggle for dominance" you describe, I sub. It's rare that this happens, but when it does it's as if all is in balance in the world.

Sometimes, the greatest show of strength is not in victory, but in a good surrender.