Hang in there and don't be so harsh on yourself.

I don't think you're being selfish at all to have expected her to be honest with you regarding her feelings for her ex. (You said it yourself in your post; "Truth be told, always figured that she wasn't over him, I don't know if it was intuition, or just a fluke.) I think you sensed it and were aware of it, but she was confused and unable to be honest even with herself.

You sound like a great guy and I'm sure there is someone out there perfect for you. Stay strong. Stay you.

By the way...You do have control over yourself. You were strong enough to break things off and step back from her for a while. Give it time, enjoy the other aspects of your life and things will fall into place.