Hi confused; welcome to the forum!
Firstly, once the haze clears, is for you to see this....What a blessing it is that you were led *HERE* ....to the one (possibly only) place in the world where others are like-minded and sympathetic. WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU'RE feeling. What you're going thru.
My experience (just me, mind you) is that I needed to take time off from *any* and *all* relationships. No more rebounds, no more flirting:nothing. It became clear to me that I'd needed to "get to know Kaiser" for a long long time. So I began a conscious journey *alone* to reconcile my spiritual side (read "inner" here if this turns you off) with my outer self. It lasted nearly a year, daily quiet time and reflection and meditation to learn who I am, what I stand for, what WORTH I have.
It was without a doubt the best investment I've ever made. Today I have no fears; I respect all but don't let others use me as a doormat. I'm not angry (inside.....was never angry "outside" so I thought it didn't count! LOL!)...did I say I'm not afraid? I'm a full participant in life: still have problems, issues with G/F and issues with ex and with my (grown) kids.
But I don't have that feeling of my life spiraling out of control, like I used to have when major life events presented themselves.
I hope this helps.....
Welcome, confused, and thank you for trusting us with being your Friends!
(One day soon *you'll* be on this side of the thread! Lol!
Hugs
Kaiser