The only way I can handle this in my mind is by telling myself I'm not worth it. While it's demeaning to myself, I can atleast understand it. I can rationalize it. I can't think of anything else to explain it.

I understand the sentiment.
On the other hand you could rationalize this as: "The only way I can handle this in my mind is by telling myself she does not realize what I am worth..."
Just a thought, ignore it if you wish
Kevin