Strong, competent women with a need to submit in private life are not rare, nor are they crazy or out of control; the ones I have met have usually been well balanced and healthy. No, this is not likely to go away: it's an important part of you, and you are lucky to have made the discovery. Explore and enjoy. You'll be better and happier for it.

If you need a metaphor for your new feelings, try this. In one of the '60s "Modesty Blaise" thrillers, the action heroine teases her boyfriend into pinning her down and taking her by force. Afterwards, recalling how he's seen her effortlessly take out much tougher men, he asks if she staged it just to help his ego. Modesty explains that in the life she leads she can never risk a moment's weakness, she must always fight to win. "This," she says, patting the bed, "is the only place where I can afford to lose."