1) Are you a sub? (Good thinking-eh? That should save some time!)
A true subversive would never admit to it.


2) Are you m/f? m+f? Uncertain? Neither.
My handbag weighs more than your pockets……what do you think?

3) Do you enjoy answering questions?
Refuse to do so.

4) Is age important to you?
Absolutely – it determines how many spanks I get on my birthday.

5) How old are you?
Both young enough and old enough to keep you on your toes

6) Where did you learn kick boxing?
At Diva’s anti-troll school

7) Can I have my teeth back?
No – have entered them for the Turner Prize

8) Do you like to be spanked?
Let me lie over your knee and I will think about it…..

9) What's your favourite implement?
My handbag – has never let me down yet. Oh – to be spanked with – rhubarb of course.

10) Any strong views on the use of rhubarb?
Much better hard than floppy.

11) Do you like to wear sexy clothes?
To wear or not to wear; that is the question;
Whether it is sexier in your mind to creak
And sweat encased in outrageous creation,
Or to take arms against layers of frills
And by opposing end them?

12) Do you like to take off clothes?
Yes – have tried getting into the washing machine with them still on, but the view from the round window is so monotonous.

13) See Q6
Undertaking additional advanced training on the rears of Unregistered peoples

14) Do you enjoy age play?
Well like it take a while, but prefer not visibly age during the process.

15) Do you enjoy punitive treatment?
All brattishness should be dealt with in a punitive manner.

16) What about blow jobs?
Sucking my thumb and thinking about that one.

17) See Q7
Sorry – failed to win the Turner, but have given them to Nikita; the bite was going out of hers.

18) Are your nipples particularly sensitive?
Yes, they are attuned, and always alert for sounds of kittens or penguins in distress.

19) Is your clit particularly sensitive? (Here of course I assume sub is f)
Yes – it came a little below my nipples in training, but works as part of a team with them.

20) Big lad, your boyfriend, is he particularly sensitive?
Yes, have seen him cry over the condition he has had to leave some people in.

21) Do you prefer rope; chain; straps or scarves?
Well, let me try each one in turn. Now about question 15…..

22) OK. Now will you untie me?
Of course – can you remember where I put my keys?

23) Will you at least leave me the bus fare?
Now then, let me think, I am sure I put my purse down next to my keys……….