I belong to a forum/message board that is geared towards women, but men are welcome as well. It has message boards on parenting and child care, diet and health, home and gardening, etc. It also has several boards about sex. The vast majority of the people there are vanilla, though there are a few kinky people there. Anyway, there is a male sub on that board who is married, but his wife isn't in the scene. He is going to spend some time with a Domme at a play party where he will serve her and the other people there. The thing is, that if he uses his safe word or stops the action in any way he will not be invited back and the Domme will cut off all contact with him.

I've been trying to come up with a way to respond to him that doesn't sound alarmist. By not allowing the use of a safe word that is telling me that the safety of the sub is not paramount to the Domme. I have been with my Master for 10 years and I always have the use of my safe word. You never know when something is going to go wrong. This male sub says he knows this Domme "very well," but that doesn't mean that she won't unknowingly push him too far.

What is everyone else's opinions about the use of safe words? I know that there are couples in M/s relationships that say that the slave has no right to use a safe word, since the slave has no rights and has surrender all control to the Master. I won't argue that point, because I was a slave in the past. But what about Dom/me/sub couples? Do all subs have the right of the use of a safe word? Should not the safety of the sub be the Dom/me's main priority? Should not the sub's own safety also be his/her concern and when the sub needs to stop the action he/she should be able to and not have to worry about the Dom/me getting pissed off about it?