I really wasn't trying to say that the activities were on the same par as basic needs. I was only trying to demonstrate a point that, at least for me, it does seem to become a very important element of my life. I agree it is something that can be lived without. I did that for many years, but once I did experience it, it now seems to be even more of a burning desire, I'll use that term instead of a need. I have not gone back for a second visit and it is most likely that I won't, at least in the near future. Believe me though when I say that I am fighting that temptation every day. I really do not want it to become a need. Maybe I just didn't explain myself well in the start of this thread. I am desperately trying to separate to two, desires and needs, and do, as you say, live without the desires knowing they aren't actually needs. Make sense?
Yes, it does make sense and it must be nerve wrecking to not be able to do as you please, follow your desires...you really must love your wife endlessly to keep such an obviously immensely important part of your life locked and under control. I'm sure some of that strength comes from this bond with your wife, right? As long as you focus on that, I think you'll be ok. My only question to you would be, if - like me - dipping your toes in the actual experience does make the desire stronger and does NOT, at least in the longterm, ease it off because it's been taken care of....do you think it wise to follow your desires? *sighs* Did I really say that???

About that online relationship thing - yeah, it's not for everyone and I'm glad you found out for yourself.

As for myself...I don't think I could be happy in a strictly vanilla relationship anymore, actually - I never have. I only didn't know where the catch was at the time. So yes, there's a need for me in this. And it scares me because it seriously limits the pool of men...