Thanks all, I really appreciate what you said. They all did help in some way or the other.

So an update

I don't think I'm completely fine just yet. But for the last few weeks, I've been feeling better then I have for more then half a year. I needed some perspective and found it.

I initially thought that I did everything I could and still didn't get her, while I should have been thinking all this time that I did everything I could, and will never have regrets of what I could have done for a more happier ending. I know that sounds like barely any difference, but it is the world of difference to me.

I don't like not being in control of my future, and this whole thing just negated that control. But my inexperience in never getting what I really wanted had to be broken. It sucks that this is the way I learned this lesson, but like they say, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. I recently used this experience to help someone close to me get through a really sticky spot in her relationship. I don't think I would have been able to empathized with her if I hadn't gone through this whole ordeal. I had a purpose, this had a purpose, it wasn't an entire loss. It made me stronger, and in time, I hope a bit wiser.