I've made the suggestion that in our world, it is the Dom/mes who "display" and the subs who pursue, with the Dom/mes deciding whom to accept. (Much the opposite of the vanilla "dating" paradigm.)

Dominants who "cold-call" subs are either vanillas in disguise, or so new that they haven't discovered this particular reality.

That doesn't mean we aren't agressive... much the same way women "aggressively" wear attractive clothing. Our attitudes have a lot to do with what 'attracts.'