You wrote: "i have no wish to be squashed by someone who's like double or even triple my size."

I will have trouble, then. I am 6'2" and about 250 lbs. Some would consider me 20 lbs overweight, but even at 230 lbs I am double the weight of a large percentage of the female population. Luckily taste varies. Some women like big guys. Maybe they like the strength that goes with it. Perhaps there is an appeal that comes from knowing your partner can bench press twice your weight.

BDSMBill