You know... it's really hard to find a happy medium in this world today.

When I was a kid I was skinny...I mean bean pole skinny and really tall for my age. By the time I was 14 I was already 5 foot 8 inches and skinny as a rail. I got teased because I was too tall and too skinny. Plus hitting puberty and wearing a full size bra in the 4th grade didn't help much either. I got teased and physically harrassed so badly I had a nervous breakdown in the 4th grade. Why? Because of other people's perceptions of what is beautiful.

Not I am 27 and I have not grown and inch since I was 14, unless you consider outward. I am genetically doomed to be a big woman (that strong scandinavian background) and there really isn't a whole lot I can do about it. From the time I was 10 I played baseball, participated in charity runs and the lot. I road my bike the 6 miles round trip to and from my baseball games 4 times a week. When I got older I stared going to the gym, I took Judo lessons and rode in rodeos (and just because you are riding doesn't mean it's easy. Controlling a 1500 pound animal with one hand is not always easy). I also worked as a stable hand for and outfitter, slung hay bails around for my own horses and was a baker and had to help 60 50lbs sacks of flour twice a week from the truck aside from having to lift anywhere to 10lbs to 140lbs in a shot. I ate reasonably healthy as I don't really care for really greasy food. So it is not like I sat on my ass and did not exercise.

And you know what happened? I still got fat. Why? Who the hell knows. At first it really bothered me because I figured no one would ever want someone as big as me. I thought this way because my borther, his friends, and all of my friends (who were all male) would see a woman on tv who was thin and beautiful and say "Oh wow look at her! I'd do her." and yet when I heaft woman they would say "Eww look at her!" I have even had people call me a beached whale or make moo-ing sounds on the street at me. I even had one guy say "Oh my God, what the hell is that!"

But you know what, I stopped caring. Not stopped caring about myself but stopped caring what other people thought about me. I look at my father and my brother. Both are men who are in reasonably good shape, tall and thin but their wives are just like me. This holds true for a lot of people I know. While they themselves are thin or in good shape their spouse or significant other is not. While I don't always like who I am or how I look I have learned to accept that this is who I am and if people don't like it then they can kiss my ass... plain and simple.

My opinion is that unless you are looking for a work out partner, why should it really matter what they look like or if they are over weight? If they are confident and are well groomed then it really shouldn't matter. I don't know how else to explain it other than through my own experiences as an over weight person who can never be thin short of lypo suction.

Basically, I don't care what anyone thinks. I have people who love me for who I am...not what I am.