Ways to relax while playing

[Euryleia]

It is definitely going to take time and patience to get your body to open up and relax. For years after my sexual assault, I could not take any penetration at all. It sounds like your Dominant has what it takes to work with you.

Here are some of the things that you can try that worked for me:

Try to use your own fingers. You are probably relaxed enough during your self pleasuring to easily accommodate one or more fingers. Work to put more inside.

Do kegel exercises. Once you've gained some conscious control over those muscles, you'll be able to decide when to tighten and release them.

Use a vibe. Start small, with something thin and work your way up to larger and more realistically sized. Using a foreign object is the next step to actually being able to let a partner inside.

Don't always make penetration part of the play. If you make it your only focus, that will stress you out more and make it harder. There are plenty of other ways to show your submission to him and for you to gain satisfaction.

Best wishes as you move forward.