I too have submissive needs that will not be denied. I have been married going on 9 years. My husband wants absolutely nothing to do with bdsm. However he understands my need of it as well as understanding that I do need more guidance and attention than he is able to give me working so much and playing almost 40 hours a week of WoW.

I talked to him about it before I ever took a first step. He said yes I could look for a dom but he was to be a mentor dom not a "master" dom. He wanted someone who was older/mature. I was to be trustworthy and honest with both of them and anytime he asked I was to share convos, emails and events with him. He has met and hung out with dom.

Before I started this he had a huge list of requirements I needed to meet to make him comfortable. Some I alluded to above but also including such things as no bdsm activity on hubbys time. This means his day offs, his evenings, when we have things planned or otherwise when he needs my time. Also limits on the types of activity I can participate in. Like no vaginal sex, safe sex otherwise at all times, no leaving of bruises etc. etc.

Course things have turned out to be pretty flexible as well. Hubby was sick and could not have sex for awhile so I was allowed one session of vaginal intercourse with dom. He also allowed me to meet on one of his day offs. Course its gone the other way as well. Hes said hey i want you to stay home just because no reason do not meet with dom. As well as dom saying hey i need to hang out with you guys hubby needs to take a personal day from work and he did.

My dom is 65 yrs old so def mature. He holds workshops about techniques and has a busy life so he had no problem being a mentor dom vs a master one. I am very lucky my husband is caring and easy to communicate with person as well as him being very secure in himself. Im just very very lucky so I hope you can be too!! <3