You and your life are the reflection of what you think about yourself. If you are a beautiful person it is because you think yourself beautiful and everything you do leads you to become more beautiful still.

The only comment I can make to Faibhar is that you will attract into your life the people that you decide are right for you. If your first attempt to join the BDSN scene was not pleasant it is maybe because you tried the wrong scene. Look some more. There are different levels to the BDSM scene in every town. And if I could give you a piece of advise that cost me a lot of anxiety to learn: be more concerned about mental and spiritual beauty than the physical kind.