i think what you may be experiencing is a confusion between what is play and what is true puishment.

my Master and i may play in many ways. knowing how to please him and what kind of games and thingshe finds arousing and enjoyable is important.

but true punishment is not about play. it is not fun and should not be. it is not somthing that the sub should be confused about. or wonder what she has done wrong. it is a specific tool to bring about discipline, obedience and a change of behavior to please the Master.

i do not find pleasure in punishment. and i see subs that deliberately disobey to be punshed as being manipulative and trying to control their Masters. when i am punished i know it is because i have made my Master unhappy. that is not something i enjoy. any physical pain that is imiparted to me during punishment is not pleasureable and hurts much less than the emotional pain of knowing that i have displeased him.

but if my Master wants to play, and asks me to be "bad". i am most happy to be a part of that and enjoy it with him. but the two are separate and specific times. play and punishment should not be confused.