There is only one way to know if you will actually enjoy something, and that is to try it. Perhaps try talking to your partner about experimenting with different things. Choose something to fantasize about, something small, like s&m. Pulling hair or biting? See if maybe you could give that a shot, and see where it goes from there. You will either enjoy it or not.

The negative attention could be a small way of you trying to sabotage the relationship. Part of you is unhappy, you are hesitant in communicating what it is you want, so in lieu of that you muck things up.

If there is something you desire out of a relationship you should be open about it.