Crossroads at submission

[Urban X]

I'm trying to work out what I should do about being submissive. Even though I am young I've know for a long time that I've had masochist along with submissive tendencies. What I struggle with now is what to do about them. It feels like coming out of the closet all over again. I'm lesbian and I've learned to deal with that but should I confide in my partners that I'm into s/m? A deeper struggle is wondering if it's a phase or just a fantasy. I know that just because you fantazise about something doesn't mean you truly want to do it but I've thought about it for long enough that I know it's not going to go away. I also notice that I tend to do things in relationships to recieve negative attention. I suppose there's no real answer to any of this I just thought I'd share the thought.

[SubmissiveDoll]

There is only one way to know if you will actually enjoy something, and that is to try it. Perhaps try talking to your partner about experimenting with different things. Choose something to fantasize about, something small, like s&m. Pulling hair or biting? See if maybe you could give that a shot, and see where it goes from there. You will either enjoy it or not.

The negative attention could be a small way of you trying to sabotage the relationship. Part of you is unhappy, you are hesitant in communicating what it is you want, so in lieu of that you muck things up.

If there is something you desire out of a relationship you should be open about it.

[badlyguidedlittlemis]

I agree with submissivedoll, you don't know until you try.

I would, as she said start with small thinks, vanilla kink as I know it as. Biting, light spanking, think Ann Summers sex toys and you will get the idea (Hopes there is Ann Summers in Houston).

My advice would be that if it is something which is on your thoughts, and something you are seriously interested in then it is already a part of you. Even if you find after a while it's not for you, it's best if you let them know and you can then begin the essential communication part.

Good luck, let us know how you get on in whatever you choose to do.