The only advice I can think of to give is "be open". I don't mean to fall on your knees for every stray Dom that comes along...but be open and honest with yourself about what you want and need...and what you don't want and need. Then, live it in every way you can. Have an open heart and an open mind. Be giving. Let others see that quality in you. Then, when the Dom for you does come along...you'll recognize him. And he'll recognize you.

It all sounds so mystical and stuff, doesn't it? *shaking my head at myself* But, that's how it happened for me, and how it happened for many others I know in successful, satisfying D/s relationships.