*sigh* ...and when this kitten's friends are all sitting around bashing their husbands/boyfriends/significant others they wonder why all I can say is how amazing and wonderful my husband is.
Actually, any of them that have met him, do NOT wonder and wish wistfully that I could clone him.
Let me just say, that my thoughts on infidelity are exactly the same as Ragoczy (my Dom/husband). If your spouse has knowledge and gives you permission to engage in specific sexual activities or you have an open arrangement that has been consented to by both (all three, four, however many) parties then more power to ya! My husband allows me to play with other girls at our club and everything that I do has been discussed and consented to by both of us (as well as my "victim" hee hee hee).
I think the one area we differ is how we would handle it if our partner betrayed us. He would take the high road and be rational and mature. I know he'd be done with me and I'd then be without him. Me, on the other hand....
My husband leads people to believe that I am a good, kindhearted, wonderful woman. BAH! I'm a selfish, hedonistic wench. I appear to be nice and wonderful until someone messes with something I have or want. If I were to uncover an online affair on my Beloved's part that I hadn't consented to, I'd remove his eyes while he slept. If I were to uncover a real life affair I hadn't approved then he'd wake up strapped down with no way to escape while I removed his penis layer by layer before killing him. Yes, I'm a vindictive bitch.
My point with this??? Take heed of Ragoczy's point that it's not the view of the person being unfaithful that matters, but the view of the one being deceived and lied to. THAT person is the one who's reaction matters the most.
I adore Ragoczy beyond reason, beyond sanity. What we have together means more to me than anything else in the world (I include the children that are now "ours" rather than "mine" in what we have together) and woe be to the person that tramples on that, whether it be either of us or someone else.
Think things through before tempting yourself with an affair of any type. If there is something missing from your relationship, TALK to your significant other about it, GIVE them the chance to provide it for you OR the opportunity to say YES to you seeking fulfillment of that need somewhere else.
-Ragoczy's kitten