badlyguided has given you as good advice as I can think. I have always believed that anyone who thinks in the terms "BDSM relationship" has their thinking backwards. I believe that the thinking should always be "a relationship with a BDSM aspect or part". Any long term relationship has to be built on the same foundations. Just because you both enjoy or want some type of BDSM involvement doesn't mean that any of the aspects of any other long term relationship do not need to be there. You must have mutual respect for each other, you must actually like the person you are with, you must have other mutual interests, you must like actually spendign time together. I have always counseled anyone who have been looking at this lifestyle to make sure that all the "vanilla" aspects of the relationship are in place before considering any part of a BDSM lifestyle. Trying to base a long term relationship on BDSM alone is a recipe for disaster in my book.