Quote Originally Posted by Flaming_Redhead View Post
On a side note, what really irks me is this constant "I'm just as (insert lifestyle term) as a real life/lifestyle (insert lifestyle term)." I'm sorry, but if you're online or a weekend warrior, you're NOT *just as* (insert lifestyle term) as someone who is real life or 24/7. Guess what? It doesn't matter if you are or aren't (insert lifestyle term) as someone else. It should only matter to the people involved in the relationship. The bickering starts when you try to claim you're something you're not to others to make yourself feel more (insert adjective). Being open-minded and accepting doesn't mean you can piss on my leg, tell me it's raining, and expect me to believe it! *end of rant*
I gotta say I'm the first one to raise an eyebrow when someone who has never felt a flogger and has never had a good crash coming down outta' subspace tries to tell me how it should feel and how I should respond to it. I do also giggle a bit at the girls that think they just look cute in the "outfits" or the guys that figure if they call themselves a Dom it'll be easier to score with those "easy subbie chicks."

However, how submissive or how Dominant you are does not depend on how much experience you have or how you choose to explore it. Sure, real life experience refines and defines a lot of uncertainties, but being (insert lifestyle term here) is like labeling yourself a slave: no one gets to define your reality but you.

A gal on another forum I read occasionally broached the question as to whether or not one can be a sub if one is without a Dom. Lack of a partner, or having a partner on the other side of a computer screen, does not change who you are on the inside. This gal, whether she's physically on her knees actively serving or not, is still one of the most beautifully submissive personalities I've come across, and actively seeks to engage and understand her submission which is more than I can say for some of the 24/7 Lifestylers I've met.

Being a (insert lifestyle term here) isn't like getting an Engineering degree, it's an inner essence we nurture or we don't.