Old School what is it to you?

[J-Go]

I like to consider myself an “Old School Dom”. The irony of this self proclaimed title is I’m very new to being a Dom period much less defining myself as “Old School”. I had some time other day while in the mountains to think about this position of mine. What is “Old School” and what does that mean to me…hmmmm.

One of the aspects of the lifestyle that I personally find attractive is the “traditional” aspect as far as male – female D/s relationships go. Men are men and women are women, nice simple and natural.

* Disclaimer * I am hetero-sexual and Dominant, and am speaking solely from that perspective as it’s the only one I know. It’s not my intent to exclude any other choice I’m simply speaking from mine.

With that said, the term “Old School” to me simply means traditional which correlates (again to me) as respect. I personally like to treat women as …well women in the manner I was taught by my father and grandfather. Women are to be cherished, respected and are to be shown that respect. Simple things like opening a door, telling them they are beautiful, walking on the street side of the side walk allowing them the building side, putting yourself between them and a passing stranger, walking them to their car at night, holding them while they cry and are vulnerable to name only a few things. Conversely I am attracted to a woman who will not only let me be a man, but will reinforce that ideal. Now I’m from the Western United States and may have more of an “outdoor” ideal of what that is but I think most men regardless of location like to explore the wild side of the persona. I like the outdoors and sport and conflict and dirt and tough stuff. I have little tolerance for sitting quietly obedient. I like the contest of business, and (gasp!) I like being the winner! I like knowing the landscape around me and I like being in control of that landscape. So that’s me…that’s J world. But does it define “Old School” from a BDSM stand point? There is where the discussion starts.

I consider the aspect of respect and safety to be the core of “Old School” in this lifestyle.
This is my short list of “Old School” (in addition to above)

• Just because a woman is a proclaimed sub or slave does not mean she has given up the right to respect (see respect of women in above paragraph)

• Protection. It is the responsibility of the Dom to protect his sub at all times. Don’t be putting your partner in a compromising situation simply because it get’s your rocks off.

• Use of “sir” when addressing a Dom…I don’t care if you are a Dom yourself. Sir is a sign of respect not submission, when you get to know the Dom well enough to address him by mane the two of you will work that out.

• Keeping a sub’s Dom “in the loop”. There seems to be a great deal of discussion on this site about what is or is not appropriate in that vein. To me if I’m going to build a friendship with an owned or committed sub, I want their Dom to know. He deserves the respect to know who I am, how to get in contact with me and ask any questions or express any concerns he may have. It’s the responsibility IMO of the Dom to ask “do you have a Dom…who is he?” (This does not relieve the sub of disclosure of this info.) And then NOT troll in those waters for play without the Dom knowing.

• Always…every time whether on-line or in real life before you play you ask permission. If a sub in a D/s relationship shows interest in play you must get permission from their Dom…again a respect issue. The same rules apply Dom to sub…as a Dom if I’m interested in a friendship with another sub I need to let my partner know. Same rules apply to play, I will respect her enough to get permission and set ground rules.

Ok enough of my pontificating…what are your thoughts and definitions of “Old School”