A sadist but not a dom?

[Ozme52]

I actually think its really common - especially online but in real life as well I have come across so called Doms, who didn't really possess any of the Dominant qualities. They seemed unsure at times etc. But they were really into causing a woman pain. I personally stay away from these types but then I stay away from a lot of things

I think its great though that you analyse yourself like that and try to get to the bottom of what you want and what kind of person you want to do it with. Its so important to be upfront with stuff like that.

Heh... the inadvertant "near" oxymoron... Getting to the bottom of one's dominance.

Thanks. "Presenting myself to a sub as a Dom only because of..." is exactly what I want to avoid. That's why I wanted to know if people would understand what I was getting at with the description of sadist but not dom, or if they would tend to assume sadist=dom and would misunderstand.

Yes, you are right. I think many would. I go to munches all the time and see people who claim to be submissive but are really masochists... given away by their attitudes towards submissive concepts, but oh how they do love being whipped, flooged, waxed, and pierced. Likewise I see 'doms' who aren't dominant and some swithces who are neither... for they tend to all fall into what I think is more aptly described as enjoyers of kinky sex (and there's nothing wrong with that) but they are not doms nor subs respectively.

If you want to explore your dominant self, indeed, as suggested, consider yourself a beginner, especially if your experiences in sadism could be categorized as being more about kink than power.