Quote Originally Posted by MMI View Post
I've said elsewhere that I think the BDSM community is perhaps too self-absorbed and overanalytical, but I acknowledge that the process is a necessary one.
The ability to understand and respond to the desires and needs of both yourself and your partner (which seems central to successful BDSM) would also seem to necessitate self-absorption (aka self-awareness) and overanalysis (aka pushing yourself to learn more, grow more, never settle for surface impressions). In other words, we act this way because, to one extent or another, we ARE this way. And it's perfectly fine.

The same desire for power that leads people to become Doms or subs (I do believe submission is a form of power) can also lead people to want to be a 'better' Dom than that other one, a 'truer' sub than that other one. Hence, I suspect, the whiff of better-than-thou in the original post's comparison of submission and slavery. It'd be shocking if a bunch of bodybuilders got together and not one muscle was flexed to show off strength and (deliberately or no) say "This is who I am, prove yourself better or acknowledge my power" - and then the competition begins.

There is one strongest bodybuilder. There is one truest sub. The question is, does it matter? Does it affect your domination, to know that there are others out there also dominating, perhaps going farther than you? Does it affect your submission to know that you're part of a looseknit, seldom-acknowledged community of people? If it does matter, then channel your jealousy into self-improvement. If it doesn't, relax and take another swat to the ass.