I agree with everything that everyone has said.

As far as what made it click for me? It was a look.

I had told myself for years that i couldn't be with submissives, that they were friends and i can't Dom, it just isn't in me etc... So i played around online with a friend of mine who was genderqueer nothing serious. Then one day i get a picture of him. He's fully clothed his friend took it as just another picture but that crafty whore was on his knees, face up but eyes lowered. The subject was "Pics of your lil girl".

That's when it became serious business. The trickery of being in relative public and being able to speak to me with a look was just... I immediately got over ever hesitation i ever had.