What aspects of BDSM do you crave?

Depending on what they are it could be easy to incorporate them with the framework of a vanilla relationship. You can set up an RP night once a week or so and act out a fantasy. As other have said numerous time communicate and negotiate something that will work for you. If your wife loves you as much as you love her then you should be able to work something out.

If this is not the case is it worth keeping?