sometimes even the motivation can be the same, I think it tends to lay in how the submissive is viewed by the Dom. There are several kinds of Doms, and countless ways of being Dominant, but only one way really speaks the loudest. When what you do with the submissive brings them to view the Dom as Dom, rather than the Dom declare it.

There is a thread on here BDSM vs Abuse, and RACK vs SSC. these two threads coupled with this one I think really tell the entire view of when BDSM becomes abuse.

It becomes abuse, when the intent of the Dominant is to satisfy his desires, regardless of the submissives feelings. Even if its simply a spanking, if the submissive doesnt want it, and the 'Dom' does it (outside of a punishment scene which is an agreed upon situation). It becomes abuse, as well as assault.

There is pushing limits in a scene, and there is forcing. Being able to decipher what is what, and when its too far for the submissive really is something that must be 'Mastered'.

Above it all, if it isn't fun. Why the hell are you doing it?

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