Wanting some feedback

[Lord Douche]

Thanks for the feedback Alex That was sort of what I was looking for, although I want more on the last few chapters.
I am aware that I write a few sentences akwardly, and I try to pick it up when I read over it. Some slip through though. And I try to think of other ways to express nervousness, but it's hard.
I am also aware that I need to do a bit more character development as you suggested, get "deeper inside your characters heads". You should read more of it, and tell me how things are.
As for repeditive adverbs... I just need to find myself a good thesaurus

Again, thanks