It has taken me a very long time to accept as truth and be able to say this but in no way are you abnormal. I am currently 64 and now relish and own up to my submissive needs and desires. Hopefully there is still time for me to fing a gentle, nurturing Dom to help me further my needs. But I urge you to be very careful. Even here are many wannabe doms wou can easily recognize by their instant commands before they even know you. Take care and be safe.