The BDSM Lies

[damyanti]

I thought I would share this here...it made me chuckle...but they say that for something to be funny, it has to contain some truth...so Enjoy....

Author: Jay Wiseman, Lady Green, Glen the Paramedic and Dale the Actress. (This is "sanitized" version by GlitterOne)

The Great Lies of BDSM (and a few others)...

..that we tell straight people:
It's a fashion statement
It's for a crafts project
I fell off my bicycle

...that we tell each other:
I've never even fantasized about doing that
I just do this for fun. I don't need it
Mistress, I'll do anything you want

...that we tell ourselves:
I'm normal
I always stop when I feel genuine anger
I only play with people I respect
I'm doing this for healthy reasons

...that dominant men tell submissive women:
I think of women as equals
I have a healty relationship with my mother
I truly believe that it takes a strong woman to submit

...that submissive women tell dominant men:
I don't have any unresolved issues regarding my father
It's enough to serve you, Master. I don't need to get off
I really want you to be in charge
I love it when you ejaculate in my mouth
Licking your feet and bottom really turns me on
I like your pot belly
You own me body and soul

...that submissive men tell dominant women:
I'll do anything you want
I exist only to serve you
I don't care about getting off
I regard women as superior beings
You're beautiful to me
I really get off on doing housework for you
My wife knows that I do this

...that dominant women tell submissive men:
I basically like men
Wearing high heels makes me feel more powerful
I can't top anybody who doesn't turn me on
I never switch
I love giving golden showers

...that we tell vanilla prospective play partners:
It's not pain. It's just strong sensation
This is fundamentally a nurturing activity
Submission is empowering
You need to explore this side of yourself

...that dominant women tell each other:
I have the perfect slave
I feel that you and I are part of a Sisterhood
I can stay in top space while I'm "receiving"

...that submissive women tell each other:
My Master takes good care of me
I'm not really an exhibitionist
I don't feel competitive towards other submissives
It's OK with me if you play with my Master

...that dominant, heterosexual men tell each other:
My slave never says no to me
Some of my best friends are submissive men
When I watch you play at a party, I don't secretly hope that you'll screw up and everyone will notice
I can still be dominant after I've had an orgasm

...that submissive, heterosexual men tell each other:
The most important thing is to serve the Mistress
I never tell her what to do
I've never gone to a professional Mistress
I love it when my Mistress won't let me come for days
I don't think my Mistress is fat
I don't mind that you can take more pain than I can
I really believe that my mission in life is to serve women
I really like going down on my Mistress during her period

...that bi switches tell each other:
I truly don't care which gender I play with
I'm not at all homophobic
I separate sex from SM
Being bi is the best of both worlds
I only play with people I feel intimate with
I only play with other switches

...that professional Mistresses tell each other:
Business is good
I never have sex with a client
Business is bad
I always stick to my specialty and refer out clients who want other things
I'd do this even if I wasn't getting paid
I never need to bottom
I'm always in control of the session
I'm a good businesswoman
My lover doesn't mind that I do this
It was my choice to leave my last straight job

And, finally, the three great lies that vanilla people tell SM people:
Hearing about this doesn't shock me
I know other people who are into this
We negotiate everything too

[denuseri]

LMAO, too funny and sometimes all too true.

[thepast]

All right... there's funny & then there's just FUNNY... this was absolutely hysterical... great post!

[Ecthelion78]

I suspect that list would be a good deal longer when thought about from the online point of view

[tazzinnc]

Thats great

[clipcrop]

thanks for a pleasant interlude from the drudgery of earning a living...

[slutboy4HER]

Simply the greatest post i have seen on these forums!

[rsjankowski]

this has got to be one of the best lists i've ever seen, and for every lie to be believable it has to have a kernal of truth, this was terrific, thanks again

[devilishsub]

: picks self off floor: That was amazingly funny!

[SubmissiveDoll]

Too funny! And oh so true.

[~faerie~]

lmao....every section i read i laughed a little harder. thanks!

[rosebud]

LOL...i loved this! thx so much for sharing!

[RickBulow74]

*chuckling and shaking me head* too cute

[Arria]

I really needed this, thanks a lot!

*wipes off laughing tears*

[annie]

hmmmmmmm.... not sure why but i don't find that list funny, simply for the truth it does/doesn't contain.

[Torq]

KUDOS!!!!

Hands down one of the FUKIN' FUNNIEST listing posted!!!!

What makes it even funnier is that ""most"" of us have used these before!!!

LMFAO

T

[angelic.zest]

i was kinda wondering why it would be funny, but thinking about it, yeah i have used some of these lies before lol..

[SubmissiveDoll]

KUDOS!!!!

Hands down one of the FUKIN' FUNNIEST listing posted!!!!

What makes it even funnier is that ""most"" of us have used these before!!!

LMFAO

T

Oh, I know I have.

[thepast]

....eyes T, wondering which of these I should know about.... *grins*

[thrall]

oh the truth in lies......or the lies that are to true.........

lmao!

[AdrianaAurora]

ROTFLMAO I heard (and used) most of them myself. Too funny!

[urpleasure]

just plain fun...
thanks for humoring me... and all above..

[Logic1]

That´s funny and true for the most part

[violett]

Oh I needed to see these - love em

[SilverWulf]

Great list, I have heard most all of those at one time or another over the years, not to mention using a few choice ones as well... lol

[HelenaKitten]

oh that is the funniest shit I've ever read...and I myself have used some of these as well. O.o but it's great