I largely agree with you, L. While the D/s in 'Secretary' is portrayed as life-enhancing for Dom and sub in many ways, they just had to make her a cutter and a bit of a sad sack at the beginning. To me, it's copping out, being slightly afraid to tell a more 'shocking' truth - that Doms and subs can come to this lifestyle from positions of strength and joy.
I HATE 'Blue Velvet'! Okay, it's hardly SSC or even RACK, with a husband and child held hostage and a psychopathic 'Dom', and there are some undoubtedly sexy bits of the, 'Ooh, I shouldn't like this but I do' variety, but what was she all about?? He was just a dangerous nutter, but was she supposed to be portrayed with any degree of sensitivity for her mysterious urges? Is this how submissive/masochistic women are viewed, that they desire any old abuse and crap from depraved monsters? She had the same urges as you and me, sisters, but enjoying pain during sex doesn't necessarily catapult you into this hellish twilight zone of abuse and depravity, not unless you want it to! Once again, to my mind a cop out, a version of the truth to titilate and confirm vanilla prejudices.